Hayden Calnin - Shutters + Food Reflection

Happy June! Nights are warm, days are bright and wide open, life is mmmgoood :-)

Lately I've been drinking loads of delicious smoothies (yet another use for my fantabulous immersion blender) and trying to integrate more raw foods into my diet...it just feels right in California. I'd previously tried to do more raw food in Vancouver, but the climate made it such a struggle. I just wanted soup and bread through all that rain. Here, I always crave colorful, fresh, juicy things so eating more raw just makes sense. It's also great that 'raw until 4' has become so popular, making fresh uncooked food more accessible and friendly (rather than militant!). It's so wonderful when healthy, wholesome things become not just mainstream but popular. Less fries, more salad indeed. Anytime I go outside I see menus and signs advertising acai bowls everywhere, it's fantastic.

I also find that my food choices are usually a reflection of how life is going overall. When I'm busy and stressed and not grounded at all, I tend to eat comforting heavier foods and to eat unconsciously. I also crave things that are not so great for me, like coffee and baked goods. I don't feel like putting energy into food preparation. On the other hand, when I'm happy and relaxed and have time to reflect, I become much more conscious of everything around me, and of what I'm choosing to eat. I eat much more intentionally, and enjoy making wholesome, energizing choices. 

It's almost funny how much conflicting information there is out there regarding which foods are healthy and which ones should be avoided. One person's superfood is another's red light poison. The good thing is we have to learn what our own body needs anyway...since each person is unique following someone else's prescriptive diet can never work...so here's to following one's intuition and nourishing ourselves in our own special ways. Hopefully colorful ones ;-)

The Echo Friendly - Same Mistakes

almost....summer?!

potted flowers

smoothies galore

music music music

beach beach beach

heartache

skirts

T-shirts

lounging

yearning

dreaming

obsessing

sunshine sunshine sunshine

love love love

Daughter - Winter & Shallows

Whenever I start listening to Daughter, I can't seem to stop. Their music is just hypnotic and totally absorbing. 

It may not be winter anymore (woohoo!), but this is perfect chilly haunting imagining night time-y music. 

The Bird and the Bee - Love Letter to Japan

Just got back from Japan. This is kind of appropriate. I want to go baaack!

In other news, drinking smoothies, flower-watching, feeling good :-)

The War on Drugs - Red Eyes

Energy + gorgeousness + ambiance = yes, it is a beautiful song. 

Warpaint - Love is to Die + General Update

Somehow it's already the middle of December (yesterday at the beach people were playing volleyball, mostly wearing shorts and T-shirts and the like, California are you real?) and next week I'm going to Japan! Only for ten days, but that is awesome nonetheless. Christmas in Osaka is something I can definitely appreciate in all its glory.

This past week I attended some workshops and meetings at work, but now winter vacation has officially begun and I almost don't know how to prioritize everything that needs doing...there's so much to catch up on, lots of music to listen to, a few Christmas presents to search for, and winter clothes to pack (if I can still find some in the back of my closet). I recently finally got an electric guitar and a record player so I'm musically spoiled and am having trouble getting to other things. I feel like a kid at Christmas and just want to play with my toys all the time, yay!

Trader Joe's has way too many holiday treats right now. I've started drinking coffee again, just because of their Gingerbread and Wintry coffee flavors - they are so delicious I cannot resist. 

It's so sunny and gorgeous right now. Listening to good music and drinking (gingerbread, yay!) hot coffee in the somewhat chilly morning. Feels good. I'm just going to accept the fact that I now enjoy being lazy (hopefully not for a prolonged period of time).

Double Play (Jun Ha & Kim C) - 사라질것들 (Will Be Gone) (Feat. Lee Sora, Beenzino)

Can't stop listening to Korean tunes lately...goes nicely with my kimchi ;-) And makes me feel 'homesick'...I can't really use the term 'homesick' since Korea was my home for just a year and a half, but the feeling seems to be the same nonetheless.

Röyksopp - Something In My Heart (feat. Jamie Irrepressible)

 It's been a month since my last entry, whaaat? Seriously, this fall has gone by faster than lightning and it almost scares me how time slips away so easily. Although starting a new job always has that kind of effect I suppose...hopefully it's not that I'm getting old, *cough*. 

 As I was going to work the other day, sun shining, bright blue sky extending forever (yay, California! I'm still crazy for you!), I was thinking how nice it actually is to be older. I feel almost like a completely different person altogether. It shouldn't be a surprise that time and experience allow us to better understand ourselves and realize what we need, what we want, what makes us happy, ...all of those important life-changing type things...but somehow it continues to shock me how things that seem totally obvious/easy/clear to me now were a source of so much pain/confusion/yearning/chaos in the past. Obviously everything isn't all perfect and dandy now, but I do feel that I've grown a lot. It seems that when we're younger, we just want to please other people and fit in with whatever's around us and voluntarily jump through hoops (at least I sometimes did)...now I'm a lot more concerned about living how I want to live and loving what I love and not caring so much about others' expectations. It feels amazing to let all of that go and just live for yourself. Not in a selfish, tunnel-visioned way...but in the follow-your-heart and be true to yourself kind of way. We talked about this in some kind of career-guidance class I had to take in high school. I still remember how much I hated that class because it was so cheesy and condescending...but eventually those concepts do become relevant. Not when you're forced to write about them in a high school essay, though. We also had to plan our futures, which included choosing a career and making a family plan. Yes, a family plan. I made a presentation about how I would be a psychiatrist with a husband and a dog. Probably in a house. Gah, the horror. 

 Wow, this post was kind of random as usual. In other news, it's almost Thanksgiving, my students are wonderful and make me laugh sincere joyful laughter every time I see them, and it rained yesterday AND today...is this really southern California?? I don't mind, it actually makes it feel like fall and I can get away with an extra cup of (decaf) coffee and a cozy scarf. Who knows, maybe there will even be a fireplace in the near future. 

Daughter - Youth + Fancy Fragrant Days

It feels more like fall these days, and it's kind of perfect. Walking on campus surrounded by energetic students (thankfully I am still energetic as well...I think haha), looking up at the blue sky, feeling the cool fresh air, eating brunch outdoors, putting on spiffy blazers...and listening to Daughter. There's no other season that offers up as strong of a feeling as fall...the crispness of the air, the colors, the sense of moving forward...there's something almost tangible about it.

Teaching is going well...it's so wonderful to teach adults again, feels more like play than work. Children really are a little like wild animals, and while that is fun and they are adorable, it is incredibly draining trying to manage that energy. I really think they aren't meant to spend so much time sitting in little chairs in gloomy classrooms...perhaps they should run around outside more and explore the world and release their energy. Anyway, my students are lovely and motivated and funny and they are just a joy to teach. I feel very lucky! 

It's almost time for the last weekend in October. Halloween is next week! I feel like dressing up this year, but without an actual costume I'll have to get creative. Or just wear a lot of makeup. Or just eat a lot of mini sized chocolates ;-)

Goldfrapp - We Radiate

So it was 30 degrees today (I still haven't gotten used to fahrenheit...or how to spell it yikes!)...oh my. I was planning on butternut squash soup but that will have to wait for another, cooler day. It's so funny to walk around seeing pumpkins and pumpkin spice lattes and sweaters in shop windows while trying not to melt and regretting not putting on sunscreen. I'm definitely no longer deficient in vitamin D. Also, I now totally believe that sunshine increases serotonin...I can't even resist smiling when walking around outside...an involuntary but welcome reaction to the beautiful blue sky and super shiny sun. 

I would like to learn how to make sushi...perhaps not with actual raw fish as that would be messy to do at home...but a California roll type thing. Mmmm, sushi!

Fleet Foxes - Grown Ocean

First week of teaching, done and done! And it made me realize just how much I've missed it! Which is a lot! It's great to stumble onto something you happen to love and then do it as a real job. There's nothing better than doing something fun and fulfilling, and getting paid for it too.

In other news, it still feels like the middle of summer...I honestly cannot believe that it's October. Today I wore a light summer dress with sandals and still felt very toasty. California remains a (lovely) enigma. 

I bought my ticket for Japan! Last year, I spent Christmastime on the beach. This year will be more Christmas-y weather-wise as Japan is way colder than South Cal, but also very interesting culture-wise since it's a holiday for couples in Japan. I don't think I will mind the cold too much...pretty lights, cozy evenings, and being with the person you love...heavenly and merry indeed :-)

Galileo Galilei - Swan

I love every single song by this band...that's all I have to say on that point. Hopefully I'll get to see them live some day!

I was walking around campus today and it struck me just how different it is to go to school here in California, compared to Vancouver. The main difference, of course, is the sunshine...but then that sunshine effects everything else. Seeing students walking around in brightly colored shorts and T-shirts and tank tops and sunglasses...eating frozen yogurt and lounging on the grass...not scurrying about in rain and darkness...it's like a different world and I quite like it. It makes learning more fun, although it's harder to concentrate when all you want to do is eat the previously mentioned frozen yogurt while lounging on that lovely green grass. 

I met more lovely students (and teachers!) today and I can't wait to start teaching! 

Also, spanakopita may have become one of my favorite foods...somehow it sneaked up on me and now I can't get enough of it :-O

Fleet Foxes for Fall

I absolutely adore listening to Fleet Foxes at this time of year - it's cozy and heartwarming and all the harmonies somehow match this season perfectly. 

Today I finally started working again - exciting! This week is orientation week, so there's no actual teaching, but it's still exciting to meet the new students and help them settle into their programs. I met so many lovely people from all around the world...Korea, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Argentina, Russia... It's a special place to be and, for me, the most ideal job situation. I hope everything goes well!

The classroom I was in today didn't happen to feature functional air conditioning (less ideal!) so I was super hot and went straight for frozen yogurt after work. I've also been buying more and more kombucha lately. It's so refreshing and hopefully as healthy as it's supposed to be. Mass produced fermented products can't be as good as homemade ones, but I don't think I'll be making any of my own kombucha any time soon. A friend offered me her scoby once, but I was too terrified to accept it haha. 

Fleet Foxes, tea, and another sunny day tomorrow :-)

Reunions and goodbyes

I've spent the last two weeks in paradise, reunited with my bf who lives in Japan but came to visit after five (dreadfully long) months apart. He went back to Japan this morning and I'm a little bit in shock. It's strange to be apart from someone you love for so long, then to spend two weeks completely immersed in each other, only to say goodbye again and not see them at all, except on a computer screen. Lonely lonely lonely. It's amazing how different a place feels when someone you shared it with leaves...all the warmth dissipates. 

But, I will refrain from greyness and gloom. When we love someone, I think we can do whatever it takes to stay together and stay connected. 

Now on to comfort reading more Anne of Green Gables and refraining from drinking any more coffee.

Hello September, hello autumn, hello sunshine

Seasonal changes are times of transition, and as such they always make me feel a little scattered and pulled in different directions. Hold on to the last bits of summer, prepare for the crispness of fall, run around outside, contemplate Deep Things while looking at clouds, do academic productive things, have a movie marathon complete with popcorn and blankets, think of the future, live in the moment...sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself and then I end up doing nothing, and that can be okay too. Also, as much as getting older disturbs and confounds me, I do feel a lot more grounded and solid and sure of what I want and what I need. Time is not a thing, but when it adds up it becomes meaningful. Maybe. 

Last Saturday I went to Birch Aquarium and enjoyed being (not literally) submerged in beautiful underwater worlds. Being a terrible swimmer and unwilling to do much more beyond dabbling in shallow waters, I will probably never go scuba diving but I absolutely adore aquariums since they provide a glimpse of this magical otherworldly universe that actually truly exists. Also, I touched an anemone of some sort and the way it grabs and entwines your finger is kind of exciting. Interaction with nature, yes. A lifetime of not having any pets makes it that much easier to fall for the cuteness of little anemones. I did not touch the sea cucumber though. 

Here's to a fabulous, stunningly gorgeous September. Bring on the apples.

Sneaker Pimps - Curl

I just realized that this weekend is Labor Day Weekend, what?! The end of summer always arrives abruptly, as does the pressing need for fresh pencils and perfectly crisp notebooks. Even if one is not heading back to school, because cute stationery is the best thing ever. I will start teaching towards the end of September, so thankfully summer isn't quite over yet. I should be working on the next essay for my Applied Linguistics program but the shiny sun is not a good excuse makes it hard to get stuff done sometimes.

This weekend will feature a trip to Temecula Valley, where I've never been before. The main mission is to sample as much delicious wine as possible. Hopefully the scenery will be good, too.

Mujuice - Каждый день

It's been an exceptionally good day for music hunting on 8tracks today. The title means 'every day'.

lfwe - Вся моя радость

Stumbled onto this (Russian!!) song. The title means 'all of my joy'. 

Young Galaxy - Pretty Boy + Bring Back Tangible Things

I've been rewatching Gilmore Girls seasons 1-3 (since it's downhill from there, arg) and besides feeling warm and fuzzy and nostalgic and such, it has also made me want to go and buy about twenty thousand CDs. Yes, actual discs that spin and have pictures on them and contain real music. Every time Lane lifts up a floorboard or opens her fantastic closet full of shiny colorful lights and assorted wonderful things (and music!!) it reminds me of the difference between listening and watching digital everything that's just floating around everywhere and easily disappears or gets buried by other invisible files, and actually owning the things you love, putting them together in one place, feeling inspired just by seeing an album cover, being reminded of all the memories and moments associated with those little discs. Also, for visual type people, I think the music is just one dimension and all the artwork and images and colors and fonts associated with it are equally important.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I want a magic little room/closet like Lane's where I can escape into a beautiful musical world. Or maybe I just wish that my discman still worked (that discman was the best birthday present I've ever gotten, I still think about it sometimes, sigh). And that I had more space for CDs and didn't feel guilty about buying more of them because it creates waste, but how can music ever be thought of as waste!! Never :)

In other news, I'm really enjoying this trend of dystopian and post-apocalyptic YA novels and have just started reading The 5th Wave. I finished Divergent before that and quite liked it. In grade 7 I read Z for Zachariah and I think I've been obsessed with this genre ever since. It's also interesting (and disturbing) how many originally sci-fi concepts and technologies are now coming true. I do not want to eat meat that was grown in a lab, but apparently many people think this is an excellent idea, eek. Somehow, I'm still fascinated by all this stuff even though much of it makes me cringe. 

On a more positive note, favorite things lately include: cucumber water (refreshing!), ahi tuna, grilled portobello mushroom, botanical garden (butterflies everywhere!), cozy coffee shops, purple articles of clothing, Little Italy, and summer glorious sunny summer!! California still feels like a dream.

T. Rex - Cosmic Dancer

Almost finished the second draft of an essay. Just ate some nectarine-strawberry-blueberry crumble. Sun is shining. Mighty fine music. All is good :-)