Sunday, December 25, 2011

Have a holly jolly cozy Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!

In my corner of the world, Christmas was a little strange this year. I kept looking forward to it, yearning and dreaming of magic, perfection, shiny trees, roaring fireplaces, snowflakes, warm hugs, and freshly baked cookies. Then I realized that I was in a different country that doesn't really celebrate Christmas and that my family was on the other side of the world. Then I eventually figured out that half of that sentence mattered but that the first half did not.

Being here has made me think about what Christmas means to me, why I always make it out to be the most important, eagerly anticipated, obsessed over day of the year. A month ago I started looking out for Christmas trees, dreaming of cups of hot chocolate, straining my ears trying to hear Christmas carols everywhere I went. I pointed out decorations whenever I saw them and examined festive looking food at the supermarket. I dreamt of enjoying the perfect, romantic Christmas with my boyfriend. Somehow, none of this felt good or happy or joyful or merry or fun.

So what makes Christmas Christmas? It seems obvious to point out that it's not about the presents, fancy decorations, or department store Santas. It's not the turkey or the mistletoe either, although I do heartily enjoy those things when they are available. It also seems obvious to point out that Christmas is all about being with the people we love - appreciating them, laughing together, eating together, and feeling grateful to have such love and togetherness during the darkest, coldest part of the year.

I couldn't be with my family this year and this made Christmas less Christmas-y. Thank goodness for Skype.

My boyfriend and I are now on vacation and we spent Christmas together, eating donuts and pizza, watching movies, staying warm and cozy, and feeling grateful to have found each other. We didn't have a super exciting, colourful, extraordinary celebration...but I finally realized (and I feel ashamed that this is something I had to realize in the first place) that being able to spend a quiet evening together with the person I love is a gift, and it is all that I want.

Why wait for something extraordinarily perfect to happen when it's already hitting me on the head in this very moment? Why yearn for magic when simply holding someone's hand feels like the loveliest thing in the world? I hope I never take the people I love for granted. I want to appreciate them and enjoy our lives together without ever forgetting how precious and important that is.

Cue hugging time!

Cue the music - All I Want for Christmas is Youuuuuuuu!

1 comment:

  1. This is beautiful! Change can be disorienting, you shouldn't be ashamed! Especially when the rituals you're used to aren't available.

    It sounds like you has a great Christmas.